A must-read tips for first-time moms
In this article, you will learn how to overcome your fears as a first mom and how you can be a good first-time mama.
I dare say that all women, whether very young or mature, have the same concerns and fears when it comes to the birth of their first child.
Some may even exaggerate in food, hygiene, and safety care, especially when they are newborns.
This feeling is very common when we face new challenges in our life.
Honestly, no instruction manual in the world can explain how to deal with this stage in the best way without making a single mistake.
Throughout this adaptation process, it is normal for the pregnant woman to ask for advice from other experienced mothers.
However, the questions that many times listening to so many tips at once can be confusing.
Therefore, to make this stage one of the most wonderful experiences of your life, let me share with you a list of 10 tips for first time moms that I learned and put into practice. And that will surely give you a hand in this delicate task.
10 Helpful Tips for First Time Moms for The Best First Year As a Mom
1- Listen to your mom instinct
Listening to your mom’s instinct is one of the best and helpful tips for first-time moms. Here’s why:
Most women read already during pregnancy and afterward, too much advice from books and internet forums.
Your mom’s instinct or feeling may tell you that a little diarrhea is normal, and the midwife also says it happens.
But mothers 1 and 2 unsettled you so much that you now become a regular customer at the pediatrician.
Please don’t be so unsettled. If your mom’s instinct tells you something different from what is said in the guide or the friend from the crawling group has told you, then listen to your feeling.
Moms and dads usually know what’s best for their child.
And if you don’t know something, first ask your baby’s pediatrician and not Aunt Google.
2- The baby is not everything, you still exist
Incredible for young mothers, but our solar system is actually not about your child.
This means that in addition to a mom you are also a woman, lover, lady, maybe even a sports queen or sewing queen. You have to and shouldn’t give up everything.
Yes, life is changing and maybe you have a little less sleep than before.
The baby needs a lot of time and attention.
But even after a year as a mom, I still believe that we parents have and should have more influence on our children and not the other way around.
You do not have to have your entire daily routine directed by an infant.
Of course, you cannot force your child to sleep from 7 p.m. to 8 a.m.
But it is still good if you still perceive your own needs and communicate them to the child.
*This post may have affiliate links. Please read our full disclosure statement here.
Jesper Juul explains how this can work in his book No!: The Art of Saying No! with a Clear Conscience *. The book is a really great book recommendation. And if you, like me, you don’t have time to read, get the audiobook.
Of course, some things will go differently than without a child, and you have to be very considerate of your little one.
But I think it’s just as important not to completely sweep your own needs under the carpet.
Because a completely tired mother doesn’t help the child either. So take care of yourself a little. In addition to dad, he is also your beloved partner.
If you’re wondering how to take care of yourself a little, take a look at this article: Self-Care at Home Ideas for Moms
3- Find a balance
Distance to the baby is also a very important tip for many moms. Find a hobby without your baby.
It can be a sport, a regular meeting with a friend who doesn’t have a baby, or you can learn a musical instrument.
The appointment must probably be in the evening so that dad can take care of the little one.
But that’s a good thing too. The main thing is that you are away from the baby for at least an hour or a few hours.
Then your baby will also have exclusive daddy time and will not become so dependent on you that he will no longer want to live without you.
4- Find a comfortable position for breastfeeding
There is no particular position to breastfeed, indeed! Others warn that their breasts react better when the baby feeds from a certain angle.
Find what’s the best and most comfortable position for you and for your baby.
Opting for a good nursing pillow can alleviate the discomfort during breastfeeding.
The shape of the nursing pillows allow your baby to feel reassured, in comfort and this facilitates breastfeeding.
We recommend this purchase, My Brest Friend Original Nursing Posture Pillow.
5- Don’t stick too tightly to your plans
This is one useful and helpful tips for first-time moms: don’t cling too tightly to your plans.
Plans are there to be overturned. Although I am totally the planning person and I plan all year round.
But some things are simply not practical, too expensive or too exhausting.
Of course, there were also a few plans that we implemented quite well.
But please don’t be sad if some of the plans don’t work out the way you want them to. A child requires a lot of spontaneity.
Since you never know how the night will be and how everyone will be on the next day, don’t try to make too many fixed appointments and plans.
6- The tiresome topic of sleeping / staying asleep / falling asleep
You also get a lot of tips on sleeping. We actually didn’t need any of them. With us, this topic was simply unbelievable and worked a thousand times better than ever dreamed of.
Maybe your baby is also a baby or needs a lot of closeness. Then it is certainly not a good tip to simply lie your baby down to sleep.
However, I very often observe that most parents overestimate their children’s need for closeness and underestimate their ability to fall asleep without help.
If the baby doesn’t sleep or cry alone in bed after 3 minutes, they can’t go to sleep alone. That only works with 30 minutes of rocking, sleeping light, and music.
Surprisingly some believe that all these great measures usually turn the baby up even more and they usually cry because they are already overstimulated.
7- There are also uncomplicated children
My most important tip: Always make a positive start. There are also uncomplicated children.
One of the reasons why I was just about to leave all the crawling groups and mothers’ meetings at some point was that I was constantly being given the feeling that my child is too normal/loving/uncomplicated/unhealthy.
Why can’t mothers simply give other mothers an uncomplicated child?
- “Just wait, when she gets her teeth, it is over with sleeping through.”
- “Once she eats porridge, she has a sore bottom every day.” …
I was allowed to listen to judgments like this.
So I want to give you hope. There are just a lot of positive stories out there that are quickly forgotten despite all the whining.
So your child is not sick if he sleeps all night without problems at 3 months.
And no, not every baby is at the crib or has 3-month colic.
Then just listen, nod, and switch to swipe. And always assume that his child is one of the few who heard many exceptions that fall asleep quickly / are not permanently ill / have no allergy and are simple and easy to stay.
8- When I am relaxed, my baby is relaxed
I am convinced that our parenting behavior has the greatest impact on whether our child is a screaming child, or does not sleep through.
For example, a totally over-anxious mother who constantly runs to the pediatrician for every little bit.
Or a mom who clings totally. It is not surprising that the baby cries out when he is alone with dad for an evening.
Not everything was rosy for us either. And when was our child suddenly lumpy and no longer slept through?
I always first consider whether difficult behavior is perhaps not due to me.
And usually, it does. With this knowledge, I can then apologize to my son for my possibly inappropriate behavior and also endure his behavior much better.
Of course, there are also situations, for example with abdominal pain or fever, where it is really not up to the parents.
But even then. Keep Calm. Try to be as relaxed as possible.
Don’t let your child feel your anxiety, stress, or fear. It’s not always easy, but it works.
9- Life is worth surviving
I would like to go into the topic of fear again. I think it’s really really bad how much fear there is in our society now.
And even the most relaxed and adventurous woman suddenly becomes super anxious when the first child is there.
A child is particularly negatively affected by fear. Screaming child, illness, not sleeping through, all of this is favored by fear. So fear is just wowhhh.
There is nothing but nothing good about fear.
Fear prevents us. Fear paralyzes us.
Fear makes you mentally exhausted and fear makes you physically ill. And no fear doesn’t protect us from accidents or anything like that.
Our common sense prevents us from jumping off the skyscraper.
Fear does only one thing: increase the stress level in our body.
Heartbeat, sweat production, and breathing change, and the hormonal balance changes, which makes you sick in the long run.
And children feel that.
For example, when mom and dad are arguing, or when they hurry through the apartment because they are late again.
Here the child notices that mom and dad are hectic, different than usual. I don’t feel so safe anymore.
Yes, it is easier said than done to remove uncertainty. But it helps so much.
It is really frightening to see how the fear of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome has really destroyed so many of my friends.
When the baby slept through the night, the mother woke up every 45 minutes to check her breathing. It is reasonable that after a few weeks you walk around like a total zombie.
So please dear moms, don’t worry so much, thoughts and fears. They don’t help anyone.
Take precautions for safe sleep and you can’t do more. Besides, just believe that life is worth surviving.
Yes, there are children who die of sudden child death and that is really terrible. But because of your fear, you won’t be able to extend your child’s life by a single second.
On the contrary, you rob yourself and your child of a lot of zest for life and health, and maybe this fear will even cost you a few precious years of life in the end.
If you’re wondering what are the safe sleep guidelines, take a look at this article by CDC: Safe Sleep for Babies
10- Do not compare
A very bad habit of first-time mothers is to compare the children with each other.
This starts with the birth weight and the birth itself and then gets worse with every development stage.
It was also a thing that annoyed me in various groups of mothers.
I think it’s totally ok if you compare diaper brands or see what clothes brand turns out.
But whether a child is crawling at 4, 6, 8, or 12 months simply says nothing.
Some “late crawlers” later become professional athletes or simply have their strengths in the intellectual area.
It’s no different with adults. One will be a baker, the next doctor, the next graphic designer.
So if your child is more of late development, please don’t worry. If something really isn’t right, the pediatrician will tell you.
More Tips for First-Time Moms:
- Exhausted Mom: 5 Things You Need to Know
- 14 Simple Habits of a Happy Mom
- 5 Amazing Ideas for The Perfect Mom Break
- Strengthening Resilience for Moms: How to Cope With Daily Stress
If you liked this article and want to save it to read later, please save the image below to your Mom Life or Motherhood Pinterest board. Thank you!
And If you’re looking for more mom life and motherhood tips, please follow us on Pinterest where we share all kinds of great tips we find every day.