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If you want your kids to respond calmly and have fewer tantrums, we need to teach them to manage their feelings. And that starts with dealing with your own emotions, creating peace with yourself, and learn how to be a calm mom.
Have you ever been angry with your children? Is it not always possible to remain calm? Many parents feel guilty if they have been angry.
Don’t worry, it happens to all of us. There is no such thing as the perfect parent. We are also just people with feelings.
If you want your child to remain calm and respond calmly, it is important to set a good example yourself. Children learn from your behavior, so show a good example in your own behavior.
They will copy this behavior. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you can be quite angry, everyone is sometimes. Make sure you are aware of the influence of your way of reacting.
So if you want your kids to respond calmly and have fewer tantrums, we need to teach them to manage their feelings. And that starts with dealing with your own emotions and creating peace with yourself and learn how to be a more calm mom.
READ ALSO: HOW TO DEAL WITH TODDLER TANTRUMS
6 Helpful Tips to Be a Calm Mom
1- Recognize your own emotions
If your child doesn’t listen, doesn’t do what you want, or does something wrong, you can get angry. Know your triggers. What makes you angry?
If you are aware of your own emotion, an angry reaction is easier to stop. You may hate your child’s behavior, but you probably know from experience that being angry does not help.
2- Listen to your child
Almost everyone takes things before we actually listen. Children often do not even have the opportunity to tell or let them know what they find or what they suffer from.
If you have an eye and ear for this, this often saves a lot. Annoying behavior often has an innocent or minor cause. If you listen to this, your child will feel more understood and will calm down more quickly.
You also understand your child better, which is less likely to give you a feeling of powerlessness or anger.
3- Delay your response
It is impossible to go from super angry to very laid back in a few minutes. Take a deep breath and walk away. Do not immediately respond to your child, but postpone it until the anger has subsided.
Give yourself some time to think about your child’s behavior and how to respond. If you make a habit of this, you will find yourself getting more relaxed step by step as a parent. And can respond more calmly to your child.
4- Respond to the intention and not to the behavior
Sometimes your child’s reaction is exactly right for his or her age. Your child does not want to be annoying, but wants to try something, practice something or help.
Sometimes this just doesn’t work out or is done clumsily. There is no point in getting angry then. Try to see your child’s positive intention behind the behavior.
READ ALSO: 11 BEST PHRASES TO CALM AN ANGRY CHILD
5- Talk about your feeling
Your child has yet to learn to express his feeling calmly and with words. If you want to teach your child this, it is important to set a good example yourself.
Children learn a lot if you are open about how you feel. Not only will they see a good example, but they will also understand more of their own and other people’s feelings.
If you are annoyed or angry yourself and mention this, your child will understand better that you react shortly. Your child then learns that you also have emotions and sees you as an example of how you deal with them.
If you can name your own emotions, your child will learn to do this as well. You can even apologize to your child if you were very angry and have reacted unreasonably to your child. The way you express your own feelings should suit the age of your child.
6- Take time for yourself
If you are too busy and have to keep too many balls in the air, it is not easy to stay calm. Often the anger or irritation comes to the fore at home.
You take it out on your kids when you’re actually upset about something at work or feeling stressed. That is why it is important to also think about yourself.
The pace of our life is high. We do a lot, so we sometimes forget to stop and relax. Sometimes you need a break from your daily activities to relax.
Allow yourself to take time for yourself. Do something you enjoy and relax about. In addition to caring for your children, you should not forget yourself!
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