How to control anger with kids

How to Control Anger with Kids and Be a Calm Mom

Wondering how to control anger with kids and be a calm mom?

If you find yourself angry and about to lose your temper and yell, then stick around til the end of this post. I will be sharing 10 simple strategies that will help you control anger with kids and be a calm mom.

All parents get angry from time to time, it is something normal and natural. 

Disciplining children is not an easy task and sometimes we feel our emotions overflow. 

It also doesn’t help that there are endless pressures in life: schedules to keep, things to do, daily worries – health or financial – and the list can go on and on. 

But it is necessary to have some strategies to control anger so that children can grow emotionally healthy.

In the midst of stress, you may inadvertently yell at your child or speak in a bad way. You are human, but there is no justification for doing it continuously. 

In our quietest moments, we know very well that we can handle any parenting challenge as long as we are calm. But in the storm of our anger, we feel fully entitled to show anger to our children.

But no matter how bad our children’s behavior seems to us, we must control our thoughts in order to avoid uncontrolled emotions. 

A scream filled with anger and physical or verbal violence can be accomplished in as little as two minutes, but it will never be justified.

For all this, it is necessary to think clearly and act without having to show our own tantrums.

RELATED POST: 8 Positive Phrases to Say to Children When They Misbehave

How to Control Anger with Kids and Be a Calm Mom

How to control anger with kids

As a human being, when you are in a time of stress you may find yourself in ‘fight or flight’ mode and you may feel that your child may look like the enemy at any given time. When anger overpowers you, you are physically ready to fight.

Hormones and neurotransmitters flood your body and you will have tight muscles, rapid breathing … and it will be difficult for you to stay calm. 

When you have a fit of anger, you should know that you should never act while angry, even if you have an urgent need to do so in order to ‘teach your child a lesson’. 

It is anger that makes you think like this and it is not a lesson that you will transmit to them.

Never yell at your children and if you really want to do it, get in a car with the windows and yell as much as you want, where nobody can hear you. 

RELATED POST: How To Get Your Kids To Listen Without Yelling

Don’t use words because that will only make you more angry, just yell. If you start to control your anger, in addition to doing your mental health a favor, you will be a good role model for your children. 

Controlling anger properly is maturing: at whatever age.

10 Simple Strategies on How to Control Anger with Kids and Be a Calm Mom

How to control anger with kids

Learning to control your anger, your children can grow emotionally healthy. If you find yourself angry and about to lose your temper and shout, the following strategies have worked: 

1- Set limits before you get totally mad. 

The problem is within you, not your child.

2- Calm down before you act. 

Find a way to help you release internal tension like laughing, deep breaths, walking …

3- Take a break and leave the room. 

If your child is old enough to leave him for a moment in the room, it is better to leave the place to calm down, take a deep breath, and find your control again. You can say mantras while you hug your child.

If your toddler wants to go after you, it is best to go to the toilet, because you can also shut it off for a few minutes.

Humor can help to relieve your tension.

4- Listen to your anger, instead of acting. 

When you feel angry, your emotions are teaching you a great lesson about yourself. What is wrong with your life that makes you feel angry? What do you have to do to change the situation and be well again?

5- Control, control, and control. 

Against words, avoid aggression – of any kind – do not threaten, insult, or be aggressive. It is useless and only you will feel bad and create emotional wounds that are very difficult to repair in your children.

6- Count to ten. 

Often these few seconds are enough to get you under control again. 

7- Refuel with oxygen.

Stand at the open window and take a deep breath. Oxygen promotes blood flow to the brain and thus your ability to act calmly and purposely. 

8- Put anger into effect. 

Distracting yourself with a job is a tried and tested way to get rid of the repressed anger sensibly.

We recommend making beds, because you can really hit the pillows, or vacuum, because here you can, without noticing, scold solidly. 

Alternatively, you can take an old newspaper or catalog and tear out pages, then crumple them up and throw them into the wastebasket.

9- Don’t let the container overflow.

Often parents want to be tolerant and do not constantly nag the child, even though they need some rest.

When the bouncing ball hits the wall for the umpteenth time and Benjamin blows at full volume as well, they roar. 

Often to the immense surprise of her child, because the tiny event that caused the container to overflow was not worth such a reaction! 

It is better to tell your child early on what is bothering you: “I am really tired and need some rest now. Please go to your room and play. ” 

10- Let yourself be helped 

If you notice that you are very often angry with your child or that anger has almost become permanent. In such cases, it is necessary and helpful to seek professional help. You can find an anger management therapist here.

How to Control Anger with Kids

Look inside yourself and consider that perhaps you are part of the problem and not so much the behavior of your child. Find strategies to control your anger that go well with you and put on positive discipline.


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How to control anger with kids

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How to Control Anger with Kids and Be a Calm Mom

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