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In this article, you will learn how to get your kids to listen without yelling. You’ll also learn what are the consequences of yelling at your kids and how it can damage his whole life.
Getting children to listen and obey without throwing a tantrum is one of the most difficult challenges that can arise in the parenting process.
From going to bed to lunch, these situations are present at all times and become a real headache.
So that you do not lose patience and can act wisely, we present everything you need to know to get your kids to listen. Without yelling and to pay attention and obey you without the need for the scolding.
If the little one does not want to follow the order even if you have repeated it a thousand times. Then keep on reading and learn how to get your kids to listen without yelling.
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WHY WE YELL
Naturally, the “voice lift” appears many times as a resource to get our kids to listen.
Even the person who considers himself patient and calm has at some point lost his nerves and has found himself yelling at his children.
In fact, a study from the University of Pittsburgh states Forty-five percent of mothers and 42 percent of fathers of 13-year-olds said they used harsh verbal discipline.
We resorted to yelling because we found these supposed advantages:
- It is easy to use.
- It is fast.
- It does not require intellectual wear for its use.
- He achieves his short-term goal, which is to get the son’s attention.
- It instills a character of authority to the user.
- It gives greater importance to the situation that has caused the yell.
The point is that we consider the supposed “benefits” of yelling at them and we don’t realize the damages that they can really cause.
We want to get our kids to listen in the best possible way. But sometimes we can’t be our best as we would like.
Sometimes it is due to:
– others due to lack of time,
– due to the situations in which we find ourselves or the extreme character of our kids.
But what we must be clear about is that yelling is not an adequate educational resource.
Neither for the child nor for the parents.
The screaming may seem harmless and may only be the product of a moment of rage that melts into thin air.
But it can affect our children psychologically and influence their behavior.
When we scream we don’t say sweet things. The screams are often accompanied by threats, blackmail, and disqualifications.
They are nothing less than the manifestation of violence, not physical, but psychological.
Words and yelling can be as or more damaging than physical abuse.
CONSEQUENCES OF YELLING AT CHILDREN
1. Can damage a child’s self-esteem
The constant use of screaming can lead to a deterioration in the child’s self-esteem.
You will not feel valued or loved by your parents or, on the contrary, you can become a rebel, constantly challenging authority.
2. Aggressive behavior
As parents are an example for their children, aggressive behavior will be adopted by the little one. And they will get used to yelling and having such violent behaviors.
Then he will use them with friends, relationships, or even against parents.
The screaming will only cause stress in the child that will not be beneficial for his development. And may develop depression and addictions in the future.
HOW DO YOU LEARN TO GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN WITHOUT YELLING?
It is very important to remember that at the end of the day, we as parents are the support and guide our children’s lives.
Therefore, our kids expect us to tell them what to do and not the opposite.
So, if you give an order and see that it doesn’t work, analyze what you did wrong.
Or if you didn’t know how to express it and try to do it better next time.
But don’t repeat it more times or desperately trying to make your child understood.
HOW TO GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN WITHOUT YELLING
As adults, we have to learn to control anger and put the brakes on when we lose control.
1. Stay calm when it comes to giving an order.
Because your child listens well, so you should not raise your voice, much less yelling. Talk quietly with your child.
2. Try to generate respect to get your kids to listen without yelling.
The child is likely not to listen when you raise your voice or yell. However, this disappears when adolescence arrives because fear disappears and, then, respect is lost.
Therefore, it is necessary that your little one knows that you are an authority and must obey when you order something calmly.
One word: respect
It is of fundamental importance not to confuse this word with authoritarianism or dictatorship.
Keep in mind that your child is not someone unknown.
At the end of the day you are his guide and who will take him on the right path.
It is better to do it from the path of love and affection and not, from the imposition.
Once you get them to respect you, you will see that it is much easier for the little ones to follow your orders.
Because beyond seeing you as someone who is scolding them all the time.
They will see you as their guide and as the responsible adult who knows what It will do you good and what will not.
On the other hand, it is not wrong to scold or correct children. On the contrary, this can strengthen their self-esteem and their health and emotional intelligence.
No matter how old they are, they must understand that life is not easy. And that it is full of challenges and obstacles that they better know how to solve.
3. Speak positively.
Instead of saying, “I am not going to let you do this,” you should speak positively:
“You are a good child and I know you would not like to be doing what you are doing.”
Change the context of your words.
Here are 8 positive phrases to say to children when they misbehave.
Provide Positive Reinforcement that will motivate your child to follow the rules.
4. Give a valid explanation.
Many parents make the mistake of saying to their children: I’m in charge here.
This is not an argument, so it is important to give a good, clear, and precise reason for your child to understand and repair what he is doing.
5. Put yourself in your child’s place.
Don’t forget that children are adult children. You have to try to see things from the child’s point of view.
6. Give it some attention.
Before blowing a yell that is heard until the corner of your neighborhood. And despite the mischief or disobedience of your child, make him reflect on his action.
Children do not contemplate the consequences. Ask him why he reacted like this.
If you need to send him to the thinking corner, it will be better than physical punishment or yelling.
7. Who solves.
If both you and your partner are at home, the calmer should act.
8. In your house there are rules.
Communication is essential. Let your child know that rules are followed at home and if he doesn’t, the punishment will appear.
The alliance and union between the couple is essential.
9. Be democratic to get your kids to listen without yelling.
All these aforementioned tips do not mean that you have to be permissive, that it would be the opposite of authoritarian. It is best to maintain a democratic style.
10. You need to listen.
Your children are people first and as such they have every right to be heard.
Don’t reproach him or punish him before listening to his version of what happened.
In addition, it will teach your little one that problem-solving is done through conversation.
11. Use the whisper technique.
Yes, the whisper. It sounds like a lie, but speaking to your ear in a low voice will motivate you to pay attention.
It is very effective! Try it.
12. Acknowledge your mistakes.
If you are wrong, let your child know that you are human and that everyone can make a mistake.
You apologize and he or she will learn to recognize mistakes.
13. Praise your child.
Recognize when they are doing well and correct with conversation what you need to reinforce.
It will be less tired than screaming four times. He channels his frustration, anger, and rage with another activity.
For example: going out to play on the porch, going for an ice cream, helping you in the kitchen with your favorite recipe.
14. Consider what it is that you want.
And consider more solutions to achieve it in a less exhausting and more effective way.
If we want them to do it the first time, by definition, there does not have to be a second one. We must do something different and coherent to achieve it.
When we propose other solutions or alternatives, it is much easier for the child to analyze the situation and choose the option that suits him best.
Of course, when you make the decision you must be forceful and stay firm. Thus you will ensure that the child develops the ability to take action and form his autonomy.
Another very important point is the fact of sending and giving orders.
15. Learn to create healthy dynamics.
In this regard, we must learn to create healthy dynamics. Where we know how to correctly communicate what we need, but not the most immediate solution.
“When a child is running and we say” don’t run “,
What we really want is for him to sit in a chair and not move. So we are not expressing what we truly seek. We must learn to command to get them to obey us.
To get your kids to listen without yelling and teaching them values is not an easy task. But the rewards they give are priceless.
Give discipline with love.
From the moment you use it it becomes a habit. However, it is controllable. And little by little you eliminate them when it comes to attracting your child’s attention.
Since you know these tips on how to get your kids to listen without yelling. We hope that you put them to the test so that you can improve the relationship you have with your children.
And that you can create a more harmonious and peaceful environment in your home.
Remember that the little ones and the relationship they have with the outside world are a reflection of the education they receive at home. Keep an eye out.
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