The mindful mom. Mindfulness – How you as mom live your life intensely instead of just functioning.
Do you sometimes feel like you just work?
The alarm clock rings or the child wakes you up, and the mom machine in you jumps on:
get dressed, have breakfast, settle arguments, pack lunch boxes, remind your son of the gym bag, look for the hat for the daughter, send out warnings to hurry.
The tantrum of the Accompany toddlers and keep looking worried because there is so much on your to-do list for today.
Life on autopilot – what does it do to us?
If you have a moment in between to think – for example when driving a car, you evaluate your previous behavior (whereby you do not do well).
And ponder worries about everything you still have to do.
You also automatically drive a car – just like working, shopping, visiting your parents or doing puzzles with your child.
You are always with your thoughts either in the past or in the future. Your actions run on autopilot.
1. Life moves past us
This is a shame because what you lose is the perception of the here and now.
So it happens that life passes us by and that someday we as grandmothers want to recommend the wise saying to a young mom: “Enjoy it, time goes by so quickly …”
2. We have lost contact with ourselves
Most of us not only no longer perceive the present in a concentrated way, but they have also lost contact with themselves.
In order to meet all our challenges, we have long stopped paying attention to the signals of our body.
Hunger, tiredness, thirst, stress signals – we are now routinely pushing all that away.
We believe that if we only deal with these five important todos, then the “good” life can finally begin and we will start “from tomorrow” to take care of ourselves.
But until then, the next five urgent tasks are reliably on the plan …
3. Caught up in established behaviors
Not only do we no longer live in the present, but we also refuse to make conscious decisions and often feel that we are outside.
If we only react mechanically to each stimulus with thoughts and action patterns programmed into us, then we take away the possibility of making conscious decisions.
How do I assess the situation and how do I want to react to it?
Our brain likes to use learned patterns. We don’t like to leave wide paths.
Every time you think a particular thought or perform a specific action, you are more likely to have that thought again we perform that action again.
Repetition stabilizes the connection between the neurons.
So it can easily happen that we deal with our child or partner differently than we actually want.
Against better knowledge, we waste our precious time surfing the Internet or zapping through the canals, eating chips and chocolate remotely, and “forget” our plans to do sports.
If we can not consciously aware of our thoughts, feelings and behavior patterns in the here and now, we are not able to self- aware and self-determined to act.
We act as externally controlled – controlled not by third parties, but by our “preprogramming” through earlier thinking and acting.
This can lead to deep feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness because we experience and feel that we cannot manage to live our lives in accordance with our goals and values.
4. Stressed, weak and susceptible to disease
Unfortunately, this way of life often gives us unstable health.
If we are unable in the long run to regularly consciously experience the moment, to perceive our thoughts, feelings and needs, then we struggle with a constantly high level of stress.
At the same time, this level of stress prevents us from experiencing moments in the here and now.
Because the body has switched to “survival mode” and uses the automated patterns of action to save energy and energy: a vicious cycle begins.
If this condition lasts too long, we feel powerless and impotent and become ill more often as a result of a weakened immune system.
Have you already noticed the symptoms described in yourself? Then it is high time to change something.
You can change something now – with care
If you want to change something in your situation, you cannot do this if you are under stress all day.
If you want to find out where something goes wrong, what needs to be changed and what goals are to be aimed for.
You can start by consciously observing yourself, your own actions, thoughts and feelings.
It is about turning our attention to the present without judging and evaluating.
To consciously experience every moment, to be complete with yourself: that means mindfulness.
But I already have enough around my ears!
Perhaps everything resists within you at the thought of practicing something in addition to your workload that is just overwhelming you.
Why should you do that.
The benefits of mindfulness exercises have been scientifically proven.
They activate networks in the brain that are also available in stressful situations.
This enables us to regain control over our actions in, particularly challenging situations.
We then no longer respond to every impulse with automated action.
Mindfulness brings us back in touch with ourselves. We can consciously experience life, the world, and our fellow human beings again and react to them.
Make a conscious decision to be mindful mom
If you want to let mindfulness into your life, you have to make a clear and conscious choice.
Because you are embarking on a long and challenging journey.
You will most likely experience phases of resistance that you should take into account and consciously overcome.
THE MINDFUL ATTITUDE
Practicing mindfulness means that you adopt a certain posture while practicing consciously perceiving every moment:
1. No rating
If you pay attention, you will be amazed at how strongly we tend to intuitively evaluate everything and everyone.
This influences our perception and our thinking like a filter.
In mindfulness, you consciously try not to evaluate or at least perceive your evaluation as such, i.e. to separate facts and their interpretation.
Your path to mindfulness also includes being patient with yourself.
If you do not succeed in adopting the desired attitude or if you fall into your old, automatic behavior patterns, this is only natural.
It is your job to observe this and to lead you patiently back on the path of mindfulness without judging yourself.
Try to keep the spirit of the beginner by going about it with playful curiosity:
What happens if I meditate for a few minutes every day for four weeks, practicing mindfulness?
What thoughts and emotions can I observe? What actions do I take on certain impulses? Why is that?
Where in the body do I feel my feelings? Stay awake and alert and be ready to take on new perspectives.
It takes a long time before we can trust the path of mindfulness and our newly perceived sensations.
Keep this in mind if things don’t go so well and you don’t want the improvement you want over a long period of time.
Nevertheless, persevere in the matter so that trust can develop.
We accept reality as it is if we only observe but not evaluate our experiences, actions, thoughts and feelings.
Only then can we become aware of why we are today, how we are and where we are. Such an attitude provides a good basis for tackling changes.
6. Let go
Letting go is the core of every meditation. If we are trained to perceive thoughts, needs, feelings, ideas, evaluations, beliefs and physical sensations without value, then we start to let go.
Letting go is not something you can force. When we realize that a feeling wants to go, we let it go. If it wants to stay, then we also accept that.
MINDFUL MOM: MINDFULNESS IN THE LIFE OF A MODERN MOTHER
You would like to benefit from mindfulness, but you don’t know how to fit into your hectic life?
Becoming aware of the moment also works in your everyday life. Everything you do with mindful awareness is already meditation.
Below I have put together 5 ideas on how to get started and let more mindfulness into your life. You will surely come up with other situations in which you can be careful.
1. Mindful Mom: Sleep, little child sleep
There is hardly anything better than watching our children sleep, right? Make it a ritual to watch your child asleep carefully for a few minutes.
Study his relaxed facial features lovingly and curiously and watch his breath.
Now listen to yourself too. What do you feel, what thoughts arise?
Concentrate on your own breath, on its rhythm, on the breath, on the movements triggered in your body. Voilà, your first real meditation.
2. Mindful Mom: Drinking (or eating) meditation
Is there a break in everyday life that you use to have a snack or something to drink?
You can use this break more intensely if you consume these foods in a mindful mind. Let’s take a cup of coffee as an example.
Concentrate on perception with all senses. What does coffee smell like? What does it look like?
Can you hear anything How does the warm coffee cup feel in your hand?
What sensations and physical reactions does the sight of coffee trigger in you?
How does it feel when you bring your lips to the coffee cup and how does the coffee run into your mouth and further into your body?
What does your tongue taste like?
How does it feel to swallow? See everything as consciously as you can.
Have you wandered in the meantime? Perceive this value-free and simply concentrate consciously on your coffee again.
3. Mindful Mom: Playground meditation
Do you know the situation: You are in the playground with your children and are glad that they are busy.
On the other hand, you are bored with sitting in the sandpit with your child or pushing the swing and your thoughts are already on the move again.
Use this idle for a playground meditation. Are you behind your child who wants to be pushed endlessly?
Then concentrate on your senses. Look closely at your child and the movement that the swing is performing.
What sounds do you hear?
Are other children and parents in the playground? Does your child hum or cheer you on: “Higher, faster!”
Concentrate on your body. What muscles do you use in your movement?
How does the moment feel when you touch your child and release your strength, like the moment just before you let go and the moment of letting go?
How does your body feel, what thoughts and emotions do you have?
You can also observe and accept boredom without any value. And keep concentrating on your own breath.
4. Mindful Mom: Fall asleep meditation
Perhaps you know this: you feel tired and drained all day, but once you are finally in bed you cannot fall asleep because you ponder a lot.
You can counter this problem with sleep meditation. To do this, you must try to consciously stop the flow of your brooding by deciding to be very careful about your breath.
Watch each inhalation and exhalation very carefully. If your thoughts wander again, register this and gently direct your attention back to your breath.
Since I started using this sleep meditation, I find it much easier to sleep, even if I am woken up at night and then want to go back to sleep quickly. The meditation goes very gently to sleep.
5. Mindful Mom: Do meditation homework
Basically, there are many household chores that can be used to make a mindfulness meditation:
Clearing and clearing the dishwasher, wiping the floor, hanging and hanging or ironing the laundry. Here is an example of cooking.
Try to focus entirely on perceiving your senses and your inner self.
If you cut vegetables, you can concentrate entirely on the smell or the hardness of the vegetables, which you can feel when cutting based on the strength of the resistance when cutting.
Try deliberately trying a piece in between and pay attention to the taste.
The next step is to focus on your feelings and body sensations. Let thoughts emerge, but also move again. Concert yourself on your breath for a while.
The examples are intended to show you that it is not necessary to retreat to a quiet place to meditate for half an hour or more to get started.
You can try to practice mindfulness immediately and in any situation.
I wish you every success and thereby a long-term, more conscious, healthier and happier life!
Could this article inspire and motivate you? Or have you already had experiences with mindfulness that you would like to share?
WHAT TO READ NEXT:
- Strengthening Resilience for Moms: How to Cope With Daily Stress
- The 5 Types of Stress That Mothers Often Suffer From and How to Deal with Them
- 5 Amazing Ideas for The Perfect Mom Break
PS: Families are busier than ever. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t have to be your new normal. This Family Routines Course will help you simplify the many daily tasks confronting you — creating a happier family and a much happier you.