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Learn to stop your child’s tantrums with these phrases. 11 phrases to calm an angry child.
Many children go through a terrible phase of tantrums. Others simply have a short temper and often uncover the box of anger. And since they are still small, they do not know how to handle it correctly.
And it is that anger is one of those liberating and at the same time damaging emotions, difficult and fast, that clears, awakens, and hits.
The big problem for many parents is that they become blocked, or try to solve the problem with more violence. And the whirlwind of anger spreads further. No problem. resolved.
Do you really want to know how you can help your child stop that emotion? Write down these 11 phrases to calm an angry child … and see if they work.
You will have heard all about secret formulas to stop a tantrum on time. Or tactics and more tactics to fight them. You will have written fascinating tricks to curb anger.
But we often forget the most important thing: communication.
The words used are often more important, because a word can be, at the right time, as an antidote, as a caress, or as a light.
Words can be magic. Also, the tone in which they are pronounced.
When you are angry and someone dedicates a few words of encouragement or words of solidarity, of accompaniment, doesn’t it change your face?
Try to do the same with your child when he is angry. We give you ideas. Write down these 11 phrases to calm an angry child … and see if they work:
11 Best Phrases To Calm an Angry Child
1. ‘The elderly also get very angry, but we have another way of expressing it.’
Empathize with your child. He feels very angry about something and has the right to vent, but not like that, not like that.
Instead of saying phrases like, ‘Older people don’t do that!’ ‘You look like a baby with that tantrum!’,
She opts for phrases that make her understand that anger is a natural feeling that adults also have but that they have to learn to express anger in another way, with a drawing, an exercise in breathing … you have many possible techniques!
2. ‘You may be angry with your brother, but it is not okay to hurt him. ‘
When a child beats his brother or another child, we tend to push him away, cold him, and even ‘spank him. What will you understand?
That his anger, which he expressed violently, is punished with more anger (that of our anger). He finds no escape from his anger, he will not understand what to do if it happens again.
What we should do in that case is tell him, ‘You can’t do that. I understand that you are angry because there is something that bothered you, but you should not hurt him, because we should never hurt others. ‘
Do not be afraid to use the No. It is more: you need to use the No. This way your child will understand that this way of expressing anger is not correct, although it is logical that he feels angry.
3. ‘Why do you throw away your toys? Did you get mad at them? Don’t you want to play with them? ‘.
Many children, when they get angry, start throwing away everything in their reach. In a fit of fury, they end up throwing everything they can to the ground.
The most normal thing is that you get very angry and yell at your child: ‘Don’t throw things on the floor!’. All this does is make the situation worse.
Your child does not understand why he is so angry and throws things away without wanting to. You need someone to stop you by making you think about what you are doing.
It is best if you change your scream to ‘Why are you throwing things on the ground? Are you mad at them? ‘
That will make your child think that in reality, he is not angry with his toys, and that he could play with them instead of throwing them away.
4. ‘We are going to look for a solution together so that it works out for you’.
When your child becomes frustrated that he can’t do something he wants to do, he may end up crying out of frustration. Frustration leads to anger and anger to the tantrum.
If at that point you say things like ‘You didn’t try hard enough!’ or ‘Well, try again and stop crying!’, he will think that you don’t value his effort and that crying is bad when he feels bad. No. Let it get frustrated.
It is good for him. And help him understand that he can always get it, that you trust him. At that moment what your child needs are words of encouragement and confidence:
‘Of course you are going to do it, we are going to try again.’ If you get involved and help him.
5. ‘Let’s both calm down. ‘
Has it not happened to you that being in a place with more people your son has started to scream and kick and your anger, together with that embarrassing situation, has increased?
At that moment you feel as much fury as your son, so many times you will end up shouting a: ‘Okay, get out of here!’, While you grab your son with one arm to take him away from all eyes.
Actually, what your child needs is to feel understood. If you surprise her with: ‘Okay, I understand you, and I’m angry too, so let’s calm down both of us’, she will feel that she is not alone, and that you can help her.
6. ‘What if we start to sort your room around this corner?’
Children are often frustrated because they see the tasks that we entrust to them as ‘impossible’. When we ask them to clean their whole room, to collect the whole room … for them it is suddenly a world and they feel overwhelmed.
So instead of threatening them with: ‘You are not going to leave your room until everything is collected’, we can present the task in a more ‘accessible’ way for them.
In this way, you will be able to anticipate your tantrum and stop it. Use phrases like: ‘You have to organize all this … how about you start at that corner over there?’
7. ‘How can we make the food you like more?’
It is not about cooking to your liking and always doing what he wants. When a child does not want to eat a certain dish, the worst thing we can do is force him, because that will only make him angrier.
‘Eat that right now!’ or ‘If you don’t finish everything, you will have it for dinner’, they do nothing but anger him further.
If instead you ask him to look for a solution, with a phrase like:
‘Tell me how you could like it more’, you will be inviting your son to look for a reasonable solution for both of them, so that he will end up eating what you prepared but with some slight change.
8. ‘And what do you need to be ready to leave?’
In the case of those children who do not want to leave the house and even kick to get you to stay …
The best thing is to leave them without arguments, with phrases like: ‘Tell me what you need to get out.’
You can offer options: ‘Your favorite doll?’ ‘So you’re ready now?’ On the contrary, avoid resorting to tax phrases such as:
‘Either you leave right now or I will punish you’. It is a threat that does not solve the problem at all.
9. ‘If you repeat it to me in a normal tone, I will understand you.’
When a child projects his anger by screaming, they get on our nerves. Avoid yelling with phrases like:
‘Don’t yell!’ There’s no point yelling at whoever’s yelling to stop the yelling, don’t you think?
In this case, you can go for a: ‘If you yell at me, I can’t understand it. ‘Can you repeat it for me, please? But slower and shorter … ‘
10. ‘Maybe you didn’t listen to me. Shall I repeat it to you and you repeat it to see if you understood? ‘.
When a child seems to ‘not want to hear’, and you have to repeat things many times, it is normal for you to lose patience and end up shouting:
‘But how many times do I have to repeat it to you ?!’. Instead, try to involve your child. It is your responsibility to listen.
Try a: ‘I’m going to repeat it slowly and I want you to repeat it with me to make sure you heard it and understood it well.’
11. ‘You are very angry. What if I give you a ‘scarecrow’ hug? ‘
When a child is angry and doesn’t know why, he ends up bursting into a tantrum that completely overwhelms him. What you are asking at the moment is someone to tell you what is happening to you.
You can make the mistake of scolding him and yelling at him, ‘You are unbearable!’ ‘No one can stand you!’ Or try to resolve it in a more reasonable way by offering a solution to your anger:
A big hug. ‘Come, I think I have the solution to your super anger: a big hug!
There are many ways to quell anger. But violence and screaming are never a good option.
Yes, it is the affection, the understanding, the hugs, the kisses. Love. Your child is asking you (loudly, but he is asking you), empathy, and in a way, help to understand what is happening to him.
Help him with inspiring phrases, offering him responsibility, prompting him to look for solutions, to delve into what caused his anger … With your help, he will overcome it.
READ ALSO: HOW TO DEAL WITH TODDLER TANTRUMS
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