This article will help you strengthen your mother-daughter relationship. Learn how to create a long-term stable relationship from which the mother and daughter benefit.
This is how a strong team is created. It is probably the most complex and at the same time most complicated relationship that can connect two women:
The mother-daughter relationship combines a broad spectrum of feelings of a negative and positive nature.
It is therefore not always easy to maintain harmony and calm. Nevertheless, it can succeed in creating a long-term stable relationship from which the mother and daughter benefit.
A mother is a lot for her daughter: In the course of her life, she is both a need-fulfiller and hero as well as a border-giver and worst enemy.
All these roles are important and valuable because girls learn a lot from their mother for life.
It starts with a good breastfeeding relationship.
The stability and warmth of the relationship between mother and daughter have a significant influence on how much the daughter can accept, and love in later life.
Even in difficult times, mothers convey a feeling of stability and security that should not be underestimated.
It is easier for girls to find their way in their own roles as women and perhaps also mothers later if they have developed a good relationship with their mother.
Difficulties in bonding, as well as relationship formation, are not uncommon with late consequences such as inability to relate, lack of empathy or problems with self-esteem.
The mother-daughter relationship in the change of life
Children experience contact with their own mother before the first day of their life.
Even after birth, the mother remains a close caregiver for her child who fulfills essential needs and provides closeness. ( Bonding is very important here.)
If the daughter gets a little older, Mom remains the most important contact person.
Little girls identify with her, want to become like her and only minor or major conflicts arise during the resistance phase.
Young mothers are usually more able to put themselves into their daughters and understand them than late mothers.
This changes from kindergarten age, because in the phase that Sigmund Freud called the oedipal phase, for the first time girls turn away from their mother and mostly towards the father.
Mother is seen as a competitor who needs to be pushed as far as possible in the fight for dad’s favor.
This phase is often a challenge for mothers because the contrast between living with ” Mamababy ” and the sudden change to “Papa’s darling” is often associated with hurt feelings.
But the father-daughter relationship is also very important.
After the oedipal phase, the mother and daughter can enjoy a quieter time again.
The rest, however, ends with puberty. Now daughters usually really rebel against their mothers, want to differentiate themselves and experience as much distance as possible.
As hurtful and irritating as it can be for mothers, it’s so important for the daughter.
She is now striving to develop her own personality and needs detachment for it. It is particularly important in this difficult time that mothers take a break.
After puberty, though this important step in development has been taken, mothers and daughters have a great opportunity to experience a relationship that can last for life.
Ideally, the foundations for this had already been laid in the previous years and now both can enjoy life as equal partners after an often changeable period.
HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP
In order for your mother-daughter relationship to grow and thrive, mothers should keep the following tips in mind:
In contact with the daughter, openness regarding one’s own feelings is important.
Mom pretends not to show up, daughters often develop great insecurity in dealing with other people and lose confidence in their own intuition.
2. Expressing praise
And showing appreciation is important. This creates stable self-esteem for the daughter.
3. Detachment and rejection should not be confused with a lack of love.
On the contrary: friction creates warmth and children and teenagers rub themselves above all on those people who are particularly close to their hearts.
They don’t admit that, of course, but being a sparring partner of a pubescent young woman can be seen as an award and brings with it the responsibility of neither being offended nor giving up quickly.
4. Shared activities.
It can be much nicer to enjoy shared activities, go to the cinema or swimming pool and plan “girls’ days”. Especially during puberty, this can relieve the firm relationship considerably.
5. Mothers should not rule over everything.
But especially seek conversation with older daughters. Otherwise, they could block the development of solid decision-making skills.
6. Frequent criticism can severely damage a daughter’s self-esteem.
Criticism should of course not be avoided entirely but communicated in an appropriate and constructive manner.
7. Setting boundaries is essential.
Limits provide stability and security, even when daughters lean heavily against it.
A mother who sets healthy boundaries and ensures that they are respected even signals to a rebellious teenager.
8. Promotes a strong relationship.
If mom promotes this uniqueness, a strong relationship develops.
However, if she wants to shape her daughter according to her ideas, this can damage the bond and also affect the daughter’s character.
9. Mother and daughter can spend time together:
- Crafts together
- Excursion to the amusement park
- Visit the climbing park
- Family yoga
- learn cooking
- Visit the zoo
- Even with a relaxing wellness day or a nice shopping day, mothers and daughters can strengthen their relationship.
10. Conversation that can strengthen the mother-daughter relationship
Here’s a list of questions I’ve compiled from club31women.com to ask your daughter that can strengthen your mother-daughter relationship.
- What’s on your heart?
- What happened in your day today?
- Why did that make you cry?
- What do you dream about?
- What would you do if you could do anything you wanted?
- What kinds of things make you feel cared for?
- What is your favorite kind of food?
- What do you need from me?
- What makes you happy?
- What have you been thinking about lately?
- What did you like about that movie?
- Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
- What are those things that make you angry?
- What would you like to talk about?
- Where would you like to visit if you could go anywhere?
- What makes you afraid?
- What is your fondest memory?
- How does that (whatever the circumstance) make you feel?
- What makes you laugh?
- What sorts of things are important to you?
- Do you know how much I love you?
How to Strengthen Your Mother-Daughter Relationship Related Articles
- 8 Things That Sabotage The Mother-Daughter Relationship
- Positive Parenting and How to Put Them Into Practice
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